How To Deal With Conflict And Confrontation

Knowing how to remain calm regardless of the state of tension of our interlocutor can be the key to avoid falling into confrontation. Avoid adopting a defensive attitude at all times

Sometimes it is impossible to prevent a conflict from arising, even if you make impressive efforts to prevent it. They can occur between family members, friends, study or work colleagues, partners and clients.

There is no doubt that these situations can be overwhelming. Especially when there are feelings involved like bitterness or anger.

In these cases the essential thing is to keep calm. Thus, we can cope and deal with conflict and confrontation and calm a stressful situation.

1. Search until you find ways to calm down.

Weigh the conflict situation in a mature way. Confrontations are usually due to abrupt exchanges of words.

In some situations, violent outbursts can be generated. In such cases, it  is wiser to withdraw and assess the situation carefully, as safety and physical integrity are involved.

Evaluate whether or not you can safely hold an argument. You should still proceed with caution, but if you can’t, stay away. If you don’t feel comfortable, it is best to leave as soon as possible.

Asking for help, far from showing cowardice, can be a smart decision. Especially if you are looking for the guidance of a mature and neutral person, who can serve you well as a moderator or simply to comfort you.

Be the mature person and, if you notice that your integrity or that of third parties is at risk, it is best to go to the authorities.

2. Your attitude influences your attacker

Sometimes by staying calm, you can have a reassuring influence on the other person. This is achieved when you try to handle the situation maturely without letting your emotions get in the way.

• Body language plays an important role. You must be neutral and gentle. Avoid looking away and crossing your arms desperately.

These postures can indicate disrespect and convey frustration. This does not help at all in a conflict situation.

• Regardless of how you feel, you must remain calm and respectful at all times. Be friendly, but avoid sarcastic tones.

There is nothing wrong with apologizing, even if you don’t think you are responsible for the situation. Practice empathy and try to sympathize with the other party.

If what you want is to calm the spirits, you can not scold or command. That is the result, in large part, of how you approach the situation.

If you remain calm, pleasant, and gentle, you have done everything you can to smooth things over.

3. Focus for a few minutes on listening

Consider what the other person has to say to lessen their frustration at not being heard. Thus, you may avoid the consequent feelings of helplessness. These could lead the other person to become resentful, which can lead to violence.

By listening to it, it may calm down and you can find out what the source of the conflict is. In this way, she will manifest what is distressing her. This will be key to calm the situation, because you can find the solution together.

• For this, you must be patient and lead the person with questions that help them reveal their perspective on the problem.
• You may reveal your feelings about it, possible worrisome thoughts, and what you expect to solve the problem.
• If you have a chance to start taking note of their needs, do so. Thus, you may not only avoid later conflicts, but see that you take it seriously.

Look for the root of the problem and try to determine sharply the solution to the conflict, so that they are not pending.

4. Make an effort to avoid getting emotionally involved in the conflict.

Listen without reacting, even if the other person is upset with you. Even if it isn’t with you, avoid taking sides or jumping to conclusions.

Don’t take anything an annoying person says as a personal offense. She is letting herself be carried away as a puppet of her emotions and most likely she is not serious. Defensiveness and anger will only lead to more problems.

Think about each word you will say, study them very well and mentally measure the consequences of what you say before speaking.

Ask yourself things like: How would I react if I say…? And don’t think about how you would react, but the other person. Remember that  it is all about trying to understand their point of view.

Breathe, speak sensibly, show maturity and do not look for guilty, but for solutions.